Gratitude List

This post is primarily for me.  It is becoming easier, and happens more often, for me to be overwhelmed by the black cloud that is always near by.  I want to have a list, in black and white, to remind me of all that God did - during and since - Caleb's death.  He has been Good, Gracious, Generous, Constant, Kind, Gentle, Faithful, and Present.  I don't want to forget His Goodness.

• We had Caleb's Senior pictures taken - 2 weeks before he died - and Jessica caught Caleb's true smile and caught him laughing - I hadn't seen that smile in a while.  I had asked her to take the pictures in November and she scheduled it in October.  Truly, God's gift and protection for me.
• Troy's trip was cancelled and he was in town.
• The chaplain who was on call was so encouraging and helpful.
• God met me in a very real way that day.  I can't even explain it but He talked with me all day, as if He was right next to me.  Some things He told me are:
• yes, I am a true believer, not just a pew sitter
• the hard work I have put into my walk with God is showing in grace
• God is sovereign and in control and was not absent
• I am strong and it's good
• He will walk this with me
• I have wonderful friends because they are quality people
• also, because I have been a good friend
• God knew this was coming and orchestrated events to make it easier
• Caleb's day was decided before he was born   
• My friends continued to call on me weekly for months
• Caleb's friends continue to stay in contact and invited us to their graduation events
• TuHS treated Caleb with respect and remembered him well
• Abby put flowers on Caleb's chair at graduation so I would know where he was sitting
• Matt helped out Josh
• Patrick and Tyler both stepped in to help Nathan - plus his friends Josh and Brandon
• Craig went to fly with Samantha, her Ecuadorian teacher was fantastic, Kindy has stepped in since
• Dougy Center had an opening
• Nathan has enjoyed the Dougy Center
• Tiana turned to God through all this and has become a committed disciple and been baptized
• Troy has had more opportunity to share his testimony
• Jesse and Alex are truly gifts - to better deal with their own pain, they have taken over Caleb's role in Nathan's life and been wonderful big brothers/friends  

This is only a partial list.  I know there is much more I have pondered but I can't remember it right now so I reserve the right to edit this list as I remember more.  God has truly been Good.